God Poem 76 -- God Only You!

God, Only You!

God, only you know my deepest desires,

Which I wish to wash clean of my mind,

God, only you know the very flavors

That make up my rind.

God only you know my deepest sorrows,

My deepest regrets,

God, only you know my sins still to repent,

And I repent these.

God, only you know how anguishing it is

To sit on the sidelines

While other people have a chance at the pan.

Lord, only you know how deeply troubled I am,

Lord, only you know that I have to be happy 

In order for these things to happen.

And I have to stop being sad,

And I have to stop these behaviors from happening.

God, only you know that if I don’t stop,

These things that I wish for will not come true,

If I do not stop, it will be the end of my rope.

Lord, only you could save me 

From my own desperate desires and anguish,

Only you know my language.

Lord, only you respect and honor me,

And in turn, I respect and honor thee;

With greatest love and with greatest passion, 

Lord, I do

Even if, at times, I don’t seem to.

Even if, at times, I feel I’m mad at you,

I’m just mad at my own inability

To help myself,

Because I put excuses before answers.

And Lord, only you know how long I am to live,

Lord, only you know of the battle I am waging

To try to inspire others

To be the great people that they are.

Lord, only you know how important it is for me,

To have my music,

To promote my music,

To have my writings,

And to promote my writings,

Be them for writing or be them not,

So that other people have a better chance at life,

Lord, only you know that self-employment and self-doing

Are the best for me,

Lord only you understand that this system

Of public transportation, school,

This public benefits system is outdated;

Only you know that Lord

You know that that’s not the right answer.

Lord, only you could communicate clearly with me

Either through the eyes, ears and mouth of other people,

Or with your solemn, soft whispers in my head.

Only you could tell when my time is dead.

Lord, only you have given me this talent

That nobody else understands,

Lord, only you understand where my talent stands 

And where it doesn’t,

Lord, only you know where I have to go,

And where I musn’t. 

Only you, Lord, know

That I will be a success 

With my books, my music

And only you know, Lord

That I will make the right choice

To promote these items,

I know it is a greedy, selfish thing,

To sell them for money,

But only you know, Lord

That that’s the way man planned it;

That’s the way man made up society.

Only you know, Lord

That my true sacrament lies with you,

It doesn’t lie in corporate America,

It doesn’t belong there;

It doesn’t lie in materialism,

It doesn’t lie in weakness and frailty,

But in suffrage and strength,

And hard work to challenge reality,

And to beat out the wishes of Satan.

Lord, only you know,

That even though I am as faulty as the rest,

I picture myself as one of your deciples up in heaven,

For that is where we shall all be destined to go.

We are all destined to a better place than this,

It is only temporary,

Lord, all of our struggles, 

All of our doubts,

All of our fears,

And all of our misconceptions, and our contradictions,

Are temporary at best,

And be them not eternal consequence

Only you, Lord, understand where I need to go

In order to fulfill my dream and my passion.

Only you know that the so-called realists

Are not realists at all;

They’re giving into the corrupt society of this nation

And this world;

Only you know that, Lord.

Only you know that when a governor,

Who is supposed to be a high-appointed official

Does not do his job,

That he is no longer a rightful man,

In the helping and the equality of others,

Only you know, Lord

That the governor’s letter to me was a cop-out.

Only you know, Lord what it will take,

To get what I need to succeed in school and in life

Only you know Lord how I am to make my living.

Only you know, Lord, that I am destined

To be a great writer,

Perhaps one of the greatest writers and composers,

Of the 21st Century

Only you know this Lord

Because you put the thought in my head 

And you’ve led me to see greatness.

Bless you, Lord and your son Jesus,

You have blessed me, both of you,

With the gift of seeing into the future,

And seeing what I am to become,

Despite society’s downfall,

And you’ve let me prevail under the harshest conditions.

In Jesus name, Lord I repent of my sins,

Come into my heart;

I will take you as the Lord and Savior,

In Jesus name, Amen.